I am a golden god

I went spray tanning this weekend… twice actually. For those of you who don’t know, spray tanning involves standing el flagrante in a booth where jets spray you all over with tanning solution, including up your nose.

Though it seems safer than regular tanning, it is very unpleasant in the booth. It’s hot and stinky in there, and every time you breathe (it’s pretty impossible to hold your breath through each spray cycle), you inhale the tanning mist. And it burns.

It’s also expensive ($25/tan), but it looks surprisingly natural. Except on my feet. If you go, make sure you put the barrier cream all over your feet and wipe them off afterwards. I look like I stepped in poo.

BTW, I am very sad about the Browns’s loss to KC.