When Crap Movies Attack

I’m late to the crappy movie party, but what the heck? I watched Cloverfield this weekend, and it suck-diddly-ucked! And this is coming from a person who loved The Blair With Project, who was even a little scared by The Blair Witch Project. But as Lloyd Bentsen would say, “Cloverfield, you’re no Blair Witch Project.”

I’ve thought hard about why Cloverfield, which used the principles of TBWP, was unsuccessful (hey, it was a long weekend), and I’ve come up with three main reasons:

1. Back story: Because TBWP was shot as a documentary, we could connect the strange happenings to the witch, bringing about a sense of impending doom. In Cloverfield, we had no idea why there was a monster in NYC; it was just… there. It was a 2-dimensional story and being.

2. Character development: In TBWP, we begin to care about the characters because they show us their personalities, their interactions (beyond, “We gotta get outta here!”). In Cloverfield, we are force-fed romantic storylines in lieu of personalities. It didn’t work.

3. Innovation: TBWP was the first movie to combine the internet with a documentary-style scary movie. It created a buzz and seemed fresh. Cloverfield seemed like warmed-over Blair Witch.

Overall, Cloverfield is not a movie worth watching. After it was over, I just looked at Joe and said, “Well, that was dumb.” I think that sums it up quite nicely.

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2 thoughts on “When Crap Movies Attack

  1. Will says:

    The best part about Cloverfield was the viral campaign the movie itself made me nauseous. I took the little lady to Changeling last weekend and we enjoyed it despite the 3 fake endings.

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