American Idol: Final Four

This is by far the hardest prediction that I’ve had to make. To me, the boot is obviously between Kris Allen and Allison Iraheta. Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert have been the anointed ones from the beginning. Joe, on the other hand, feels that The Gokester is going home. Not on his dead wife, he won’t!

Adam Lambert: He sang Led Zeppelin’ “Whole Lotta Love”; it was serviceable. He certainly can hit the notes, but we know that. We also know that Adam is no Robert Plant. Instead, he’s all artifice and lip curling. He’s whiny like Tom Keifer, not howling and sexy (vocally) like Mr. Plant. That’s why I don’t like him; ultimately, he’s a just a fake ol’ douche who sounds like he sings for Cinderella. But he won’t go home.

Allison Iraheta: I actually liked her performance, but I didn’t love it. I completely agree with her on her song choice; I love “Cry Baby” by Janis. “Piece of My Hear”t is overdone; “Somebody to Love” is cliche. My reasoning for her not going home? She’s the only girl left. It’s the Kimberly Locke effect.

Duet #1, Kris & Danny: How unfair was it that they had to perform in the duet prior to singing their solos? Crap. I thought they sounded in the groove on “Renegade” by Styx. Army with Harmony.

Kris Allen: I thought that “Come Together” by The Beatles was a stupid, stupid choice. No one sounds good singing it except John Lennon. It’s such a Beatle-y song. I like the Jack-Johnson vibe he gave it, and he certainly wasn’t as bad as the judges made it sound (really, these were the same people praising Megan Joy to the high heavens). I also think he’s the most marketable of the 12 finalists. He’ll get the Daughtry toss and go out at 4… and he’ll also do the best out in the real world.

Danny Gokey: What was he thinking? Wrong song, wrong song, wrong song.

Duet #2, Adam & Allison: There’s something wrong when Joe and I erupt into laughter the moment Adam screeches onto stage. He’s so Vegas. And his tongue has a buttcrack. I hate it so much.