The Five Stages of a Bad Audition

1. Denial
“I wasn’t that bad. I could still get a callback. They saw past my poor audition and into the soul of Christine as the Consummate Performer.”

2. Anger
“Well, this sucks!”

3. Bargaining
“So, if I don’t mock bad performers in my head for three months, will you give me a callback then? How about four months? I’ll throw in seeing a friend in a really crappy student show…”

4. Depression
“Well, I suck!”

5. Acceptance
“I’ll get ’em next time. Next time. Also, I need chocolate.”