How Not to Pick Up Women

Poor Greg D.  All he’s trying to do is help some shy Christian kids get some booty.  The problem is, is that he doesn’t have a real-world lady type to respond to his advances.  I will be that lady.  (You’re welcome.)  Let’s see how his come ons work on me…

Pick Up Line #1:

“Hey, those boots you’re wearing… looks like you’re in a motorcycle gang.  Don’t get me wrong; those boots are cute.  But tell the truth, are you in a gang?”

My Response:

Yes.  And I will cut you if you don’t get out of my face, pansy boy.

Pick Up Line #2:

“Hey, do girls like guys with tattoos?  I noticed more and more Christians are getting tattoos; do girls even like that?”

My Response:

That’s heathen talk.  Cast thee out, Satan!

Pick Up Line #3:

You are adorable.  I want to meet you.  What’s your name?

My Response:

F&*% you, that’s my name.

I hope this helps, Greg.  (I’m available for videos.)