Driving PSA

A message for all Los Angelenos: Listen up!

The freeway is not your personal cut-through street.

Do not idly drive 15 miles under the speed limit blocking traffic and causing Frogger-like driving conditions! This goes TRIPLY for cars in the so-called fast lane. This goes QUADRUPLELY for drivers who casually drape their left arms out of their windows. The freeway is not for “slow rides/take it easys!” It is for “gotta get somewhere nows!!!!”

ALSO, when merging onto the freeway, do not avoid the little pedal next to the brake. It is called the “gas pedal.” It speeds up your car so that you can enter the freeway safely and efficiently. Not pressing said pedal whilst merging is strictly verboten!

If you refuse these simple rules, you will be classified as a driving menace! Proceed to your nearest side street where 40MPH drivers belong and commence sucking it!