Hollywood Drivers. So Hollyweird.

If you see someone whose car is unable to move in the middle of a busy street at midnight, do you:

a. Go around them.  After all, it’s the logical choice, and there is very little traffic.

b. Stop, and ask if they need roadside assistance.

c. Turn on your brights and honk your horn without ceasing.

If you answered C, you’re correct!  Bonus points for those who guessed that the driver would also roll down his window and scream at the lady after she finally got her car running.

I hate you so much, Hollywood.

Adam Lambert: Douche of the Year

Every time Adam Lambert is criticized for “being sexual” (read: gross and creepy with a butt-crack tongue), he states that it’s discrimination as women have exhibited their sexuality in performances for years.

Adam. You are not a woman. Being gay doesn’t make you a woman. So, bringing up women in this context makes no logical sense. It’s like comparing apples and gay men. And being homosexual doesn’t negate the societal advantages you get from being a man either.

Adam? Women are sexualized and objectified in the media. What you see is often a patriarchal fantasy, not truly a woman’s sexuality. Real womanly sexuality frightens the bejeezus out of society. Did you forget how Britney, Madonna, etc. were roundly condemned for many of their art pieces (the kiss, the Britney strip, Madonna’s Sex book)? At least be accurate with your statements, Lambert.

Oh, and Adam? Saying you’d like have sex with a woman or licking a woman in a picture doesn’t mean you love women. It’s pretty clear that you have issues with women; perhaps you’re angry because you feel you “have it worse” than the ladies?

But, Adam, you can’t compare your struggle with the struggle of woman. It’s incomparable. We should be working together to improve society, not saying, “My struggle is harder than yours! Women get to be sexy! Blah, blah, blah…” Your comments only further divide people. And your awful, shrieking voice already does that enough.

Is Glenn Beck Really This Dumb?

Glenn Beck is mad because TV shows are promoting volunteerism this week.  His voice is dripping with disdain and sarcasm when he talks about how the Entertainment Industry Foundation wants to persuade people to commit acts of service more regularly.  In his mind, if President Obama is for volunteerism, and TV shows go ahead with promoting service, then we are one step away from living in Mao’s China.  I’m not exaggerating; that’s what he said.  Apparently, TV shows promoting charitable acts equals the Cultural Revolution.  Or something.

How can he get so het up and smug about… volunteering?

Misrepresentations to Whip Public into a Froth

Full discretion here: I hate the Heritage Foundation.

Their latest reeks of desperation. On barackobama.com, anyone can host an event to help organize grassroots campaigns to further the president’s issues.

Some yahoo (I have no idea who, since the Heritage Foundation gave no context to this… for obvious reasons) hosted an event and called right-wing health care protesters “domestic terrorists.”

Then, the Heritage Foundation represents this as an official correspondence (yeah, right). And The People Who Don’t Think (TM) become furious.

It takes 2 seconds of applying common sense to realize that Obama would never sanction, nor would his team sanction, public correspondence that was full of such vitriol. It would be political suicide. And the man is nothing if not a politician.

Another reason why ultra-right wing + mindlessness = scary times for the rest of us.

Ignorance Is Screwing With My Bliss

Look, I don’t know if Obama’s health care plan is good or not. I’m not going to pretend that I read the bill (it’s loooong y’all!). All I know is, if I hear one more person say/write/drool that “America has the best health care in the world!” I’m going to scream.

America does NOT have the best health care system in the world. It actually sucks. S-U-C-K-S. So, don’t worry, folks, that our health system is going to go the way of Zimbabwe’s. First of all, that’s a slippery slope fallacy, which is just fearmongering. Second, it can’t get a whole heck of a lot worse for an industrialized country. Check out the WHO’s Web site, if ya don’t believe me.

But people come to America to get health care from other countries, you say! Yeah, and Americans go to Europe to get treatments. I haven’t seen any hard stats that show who goes where to get what in terms of health care. I do know that most people in the world couldn’t possibly afford the top-notch health care in this country, and that includes the majority of people living here.

Bottom line, when it comes to any political discourse in this country, you have people repeating the same old chestnuts to make their points without any real research. And these people vote! These people write articles! These people show up on your television! And they’re dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. So, please, before you open your mouth, at least attempt to know what the heck you are talking about. Don’t just repeat what you’ve heard from Rush/Fox News/Your mom/Your barber. You’re screwing with the rest of us.

Flying With Douches

Today, I flew home from my visiting my family (Dad’s 50th!), and the flight was delayed. Big yay. As I sat in my aisle seat waiting for the toilet to be fixed, I began drifting off. My method of sleeping on planes is to fall completely forward onto the tray table and pass out. Valium helps a lot.

All of a sudden, I was jarred awake by some red-haired older woman stepping ever-so-deliciously onto my foot. I bolted upright. “Ouch,” I said, irritably, as ol’ Red Hair didn’t seem to be bothered by her clumsiness. She “apologized,” and made her way past me to retrieve something from the overhead bin.

Just then, a man carrying two large buckets of treated water made his way down the aisle. So Red Hair backed into me, placing her delicately sagging buttocks approximately 1 inch from my face. She then rummaged around in the bin again as she was admonished by the crew to take her seat.

“I’m just getting my jacket,” she said with a simpering smile. She then turned to me. “I’m going to stand on your seat to get this. I hope you don’t mind.” WHAP! Her jacket hit me in the face as she climbed onto my seat to get her headphones. She climbed down, and I stepped into the aisle to let her pass.

Now, did my face show my annoyance? Heck yeah. I had old-lady crotch and butt in my face. I was physically abused by the woman. And she woke me up from a Valium stupor. I really wasn’t in the mood to disguise my bad humor with a bland grin.

“You don’t have to be annoyed that I had to get up one time,” Red Hair suddenly blurted out as she took her seat.

“Lady,” I replied, with the world-weariness of a long-range trucker, “I didn’t say a word to you.”

“You had a look on your face,” she had the audacity to say in return.

I drew a breath. “I’m tired. I just took medication. I’m tired. So just calm down, ya weirdo.”

She didn’t reply but settled in to read out loud to herself and hum. For five hours.